21
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subject: i had something snippy for this one but forgot it
feeling: headached
tunes: talkshow boy's watch as i perform my own tracheotemy
i kind of exxagerated the 'complete overhaul' bit from my last entry. i also as always did not fix my bad habbits. which is really predictable. its fine, i guess, but not really beause i keep turning my work in late.... i did start moving my files around though, which wasnt as daunting as i thought it would be. when i get to more image heavy pages like my index or about page, itll probably become an actual Thing, but im .. Fine right now.. today coding wise i only really spent time on the blog and poetry page, and i might tweak the writing page when i finish writing this entry ~ φ(゜▽゜*)♪ i wanna lay out my thoughts on the two dennis cooper books i just read, those being my loose thread and closer. i finished closer a week or two ago, and only finished my loose thread yesterday (?) but i have more thoughts on closer. my 'analysis,' if yu can call it that, is sort of really surface level unforutnately for me which is also sort of a thing i also wanna work on; its not like i dont think deeply about lit and te like, but sometimes i feel my 'school voie,' or the way i write papers for school, jumps out a bit. i dont know. anyways, paraphrased from what i wrote when i finsihed it... i am no better than any of george's suitors, really, becasue his peuliarities entraptured me as much as they did for them. actually, im only better than the ones who wanted him dead, because his Mannerisms didn't trigger my boy peril glands HAHAHA... for my thoughts on the 'suitors' themselves: alex was more interesting than cliff even though i initially started off favoring the latter due to my love for plotlines where people are hopelessly in love but settle for someone in love with them beause they cant have the true object of their affections. if that makes any sense at all. alex's spitefulness / despondence was sort of eichi-like (especially after his accident and in the final chapter,) and it amused me. i felt like david's offkilter obsession with george just looped back around to him being in love with himself in a way. Steve was my favorite because i loved the voice used for him, though it fell second to the george chapters disney fixation neuroticism adrug induced depression.. kyaa... moe +1 . i think everyones george-trance is summed up with the line from steve's chapter that says, "People don't really know one another except when they're speaking. As soon as they shut up, no matter how close they've been, that understanding is gone. They become cute, ugly, tall, short, fat, thin. I find this frightening most of the time, but it's the best part of sex." nobody really Really loved george, except maybe john. david liked him because he liked himself; cliff liked him for his looks and got sick of him right when he Did see the 'deep' side of him he was so annoyed that he couldnt see i might be iffy on this one, but i wrote something along these lines and i think this is what i was trying to say. my memory is bad.; alex didnt like him so he doesnt really fit in here, but he was obsessed with him in a way because of cliff so that's his reasoning; steve only let him stick around becasue of some mix of pity and the fact george reminded him of his first love, and sort of loved him, but still turned off the lights at the end to not have to Really see him in his entirety. what would anyone else do, really? im not really countingg phillipe or whatever or thomas (?) in this because phillipe just wanted to find himself in george or soemthing like that and thomas just wanted to kill him. and i dont care as much about their Things. the ending was kind of sudden but that seems to just be the nature of dennis cooper books! i also may just be bad at reading, because i feel a lot of endings are 'too sudden.' maybe i just want more hahahha.. my greed consumes me.. i dont have as much to say about my loose thread; it was slightly and only slightly, ok, confusing to follow but that was really the point with larry's unreliable narrator-ness and whatnot, so it worked. larry's character was really reminiscent of insul to me, which added to my experience with him greatly i think. him and jim's moments were quite lovely, of course in a sticky and sick sort of way. they really do love eachother, in a really fucked up, never-mutual way and it was quite a ride to read. i feel really unconfident in my Descriptions, as of late, which i feel sort of comes across in this entry because i cant find the words to say what i want..ah...i enjoyed it, basically. very brainpicky. the phrase post-columbine-nightmare kept scrolling in my mind while i read because i for wahtever reason thought this is where it was from. i saw it on a post of the waybros and havent gotten over it...lol...i assume its from that post originally, since google gives me nothing else, but idk.. Great Words. The spelling of klebold was kind of funny, i dont know if it was just some Thing or purposeful typo, because i annot find anything about it being spelled that way (✿◕...◕✿) anyways. i also watched se7en which was good as fuck!!!!!!! the horror freak in me loved the fx but ignoring that morbidness, i also wuved the foreshadowing and all of that ლ(╹◡╹ლ)i couldnt believe it was from 1995 because of how fucking crisp the visuals were, i seriously thought it was fromthe 00s or some shit 0-0 having mostly language arts electives is the best descision ive ever made.seriously... ich liebe lit and film and art (starts sobbing.) anyways i didnt mention it in the last entry for whatever reason but i also started watching supernatural (late as hell) and i, of course, have been converted to shipping wincest. its too in your face not to, really!!! i love them.. a lot... sniffles. i dont have much else to go on about 2nite so im goig to finish formatting ths page read: just add a return button lol and try to be productive in another way #peece
09 : 25 pm
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subject: i like the men i like because they look like dennis cooper characters