subject: weird girl
feeling: thought-full
tunes: heavenly's operation heavenly
hello blawg u_u i have started working out again, which i may have detailed in the last poasts of august? unsure, and im too azy to go back and check right now because i know theyre kind of downers ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪ as well as Sorta making coherent meals for myself. however nothing very eventful has happened there so instead i will navel gaze about being a "weird girl" i started thinking about this topic because i was watching this video. i think its a good watch and i agree with the sentiment, though im way more cynical about "weird girl" things becoming mainstream because of people's incapability to be authentic in their interests and styles on the centralized web due to trendhoppingg and whatnot... the internet was better before normies got to it etc etc its something i think of A Lot and whine about A Lot okay. That's not even really my main thing I wanted to blawg abaut. I realize i kind of dont feel entirely like i fit the side of Weird Girl grouping like certainly looking at me and my behaviour just straight up i am just a weird girl but like. i dont know for one, im not neurodivergent and just have mild neurosis and weird mannerisms as well as kind of obnoxious behaviour when im comfortable which people often read as autsitic, which i mostly suspect is just the recent glamourization of autism where everything is autsitic but i really just think im kind of annoying? and like odd of course but mostly just annoying. another thing is im honestly kind of a mean/cruel person. not to the point where i straight up bully people of course because that's just childish and ghetto but i dont know, i feel i am often really crass and have gotten on with "mean girls" in the past to the point where i was not the one being the butt of the joke for the most part. i have still been fucked with and probably still do get fucked with sometimes though this could just be me being a paranoid little twat due to years of fake niceness and having people switch up on me once i begin acting in an unpalatably strange way, lol but, like, that doesnt really cancel out my impoliteness. i feel like other true weird girls online in the general web, mainly. i know there are other weird girls out there who have similar proclivities to moi in regards to more unsavoury traits... are more "cringe culture is dead!" types, which i agree with to a degree despite having my own squicks, but i just dont feel as accepting bcoz of the fact i get squicked, basically. I dont think this is really a "ZOMG IM NOT LIKE OTHER WEIRD GIRLS IM ACTUALLY CATTY AND PETTY" type of thing, its just a kind of thought i had. as i said before, of course to an outsider im still as weird as all the rest and dont get a pass because i have typical teen girl nastiness or manage to present myself as more "normal" and mellow around them, because in the end im still dressed like a way less conventional tomboy, have anime stickers on my laptop and phone, am wearing a lemon/lime fanfiction lanyard on my carabiner, and theyve likely still seen me acting bizarrely with my friends. thats all for today since this entires already really long and i have to go study then sleep...ppeeeeeeeeeece xx
07:36 pm